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Parenting
Preparing for Adolescence
Parenting can be the most rewarding
work of adult life. Nothing brings more joy and pride than a
happy, productive, and loving child. Each age and stage of a
child's development has specific goals and tasks. For infants,
it is to eat, sleep, and explore their world. For adolescents,
it is to become their own person with their own group of friends.
Adolescents need many skills in order to successfully achieve
their goal of increased independence. Some adolescents do not
make this transition smoothly. Their movement toward independence
can cause stress and grief for parents. Some aspects of this
rough transition are normal and, while stressful, should not
alarm parents.
Starting early is the best
way for parents to prepare for their child's adolescence.
The following are ways that parents can prepare themselves
and their child for a smoother transition and greater success
in achieving the tasks of adolescent development:
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Providing safe and loving home
environment |
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Creating an atmosphere of honesty,
mutual trust, and respect |
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Allowing age appropriate independence
and assertiveness |
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Developing a relationship that
encourages your child to talk to you when upset |
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Teaching responsibility for
their belongings and yours |
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Teaching basic responsibility
for household chores |
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Teaching the importance of accepting
limits |
These are complex processes which
occur gradually and start during infancy. A teenager's adolescent
years will be less stressful when parents and child have worked
together on these tasks throughout the child's earlier development.
The ability to talk openly about
problems is one of the most important aspects of the parent
and child relationship. Developing this relationship and open
communication takes time, persistence, and understanding.
The relationship develops gradually by spending time with
the child. Meal times, story telling, reading, playing games,
outings, vacations, and celebrations are important opportunities
for parents to spend time with their child. Parents should
also try to spend some individual time with each child, particularly
when talking about difficult or upsetting things. This relationship
creates the foundation for talking with the child when struggles
and conflicts emerge during adolescence.
A parent-child relationship which
is very stressful or troubled during the preadolescent years
can be a strong signal that professional help may be needed.
Parents investment of time and energy in the child's early
years can prevent small problems of childhood from becoming
larger problems of adolescence.
The American Academy of Child and
Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) represents over 6900 child and
adolescent psychiatrists who are physicians with at least
five years of additional training beyond medical school in
general (adult) and child and adolescent psychiatry.
The Facts for Families© series
is developed and distributed by the American Academy of Child
and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP). Facts sheets may be reproduced
for personal or educational use without written permission,
but cannot be included in material presented for sale.
Copyright © 1997 by the American
Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
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