Agony Aunts Jane Butterworth from News of the World, Sue Frost from Woman, Suzie Hayman from Woman’s Own, Anne Lovell from Bella, Peter Gilchrist from The Express, Kate Magee from Reading Evening Post and Deidre Sanders from The Sun participated in the roundtable.  The group was chaired by Dr Ann McPherson, GP and author of Teenagers: the Agony, the Ecstasy, the Answers, Adolescent Health and The Diary of the Other Health Freak.

	Work at developing a relationship with your children from the moment they are born, getting all the support you can
	Laying the foundations of a good relationship from birth onwards will make it easier to talk to your children when they get older. Parenting is a hard job and is something that we have to learn.  Few of us are prepared for it. You can get help from family and friends as well as specialist groups. Why not try a parenting class run by groups like Parentline Plus, Adfam and Families Anonymous?
	Nurture your children’s self-esteem
	Make time to listen and to praise your children - this will help them develop the confidence to look after themselves in later life

	Prepare for discussions
	Get to know the facts about drugs so that you can have informed discussions about the effects and implications of the entire spectrum of drugs from alcohol and marijuana to ‘hard’ drugs
	Talk to your children’s head teacher or form teacher to find out what drugs education your children are getting in school so that you understand what knowledge they have.
	Be honest about yourself
	Acknowledge your own drug-taking behaviour, which may include smoking and drinking alcohol.  Recognise that this may send contradictory messages to your children when you are talking to them about illegal drugs.
	Use opportunities to discuss drugs when there are media reports about drugs. It sometimes helps to make it less personal.
	Don't feel threatened by others
	Welcome involvement in your children's lives from relatives or family friends. It may feel a little threatening if your children talk to others, but it is important that they get an adult’s perspective.

	Be open about your views
	Feel entitled to express your opinions and why you hold them. Young people need to understand where the parents stand and why.  Remind them that they will be parents one day! Young people often come back to their parents' views after teen-hood.
	Give your children privacy and respect
	Develop a relationship with your children which includes privacy and respect. This will help you keep open lines of communication. Try to respect their views. Even if you do not agree with them - their logic may be different from yours.
	Set limits in the home
	Ensure that your children understand why you establish certain rules and that you do it because you care and love them.  You may not like the things they do but that does not mean you don’t love them.
	Allow yourself to worry
	It is perfectly normal to have fears so don’t worry about worrying! However, be careful not to panic – only a tiny proportion of drug users go on to develop a serious problem.  Most people will experiment a little and then stop using drugs. Talking to friends and/or partners often helps.

	Encourage them to take responsibility for themselves
	Continue teaching them that they make their own choices and that they are responsible for their own happiness.
	Don't row with them in a crisis
	It is okay to feel angry but talk to them about how you feel when the incident is over. You may say things that you may later regret if you have an argument in the heat of a crisis.
	Try to judge the action and not the person
	Be constructive by letting them know that you love them but not their inappropriate behaviour.
	Provide emotional support without condoning irresponsible behaviour
	You can be supportive while staying true to your values. For example, if your child is called to the police station, you can go with them to support them but you can also tell them that the police are 100 per cent right to call them in.
	Don't blame yourself
	Take responsibility for your actions but don’t blame yourself, as it won’t help you or anyone else. You children are individuals and make their own choices according to situations they face.
	Talk to someone in a similar situation
	Support groups come into their own by putting you in touch with people in a similar situation. It can be helpful to compare how different tactics work in different situations.

Sources of information and help 

The National Drugs Helpline: 0800 77 66 00

Release: 020 7603 8654

ADFAM: 020 7928 8898

Families Anonymous: 020 7498 4680

The HPE leaflet 'A Parent's Guide to Drugs and Alcohol' gives practical information and advice on how to talk to children of all ages about drugs and alcohol.  This leaflet is available free of charge, 24 hours a day from the National Drugs Helpline on 0800 776600 or from Drinkline on 0800 917 8282 between 11am and 11pm